Feelings, Doubts, Choice and Faith

 A few years ago I came across a video posted on Facebook that was quite disturbing.  I think the purpose of the video was to cause doubt about the trustworthiness of our feelings.  The first part of the video started with the testimonies of some of those in the cult Heaven's Gate who ultimately committed suicide, convinced that by doing so they would be picked up by an alien spacecraft and "transformed through biological and chemical processes to perfected beings." 

That was followed by testimonies of people from different churches saying that they knew their church was true.  I believe this was to discourage and confuse those of us in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who believe that our church is the only true church on the earth.  I remember watching the video several times, trying to make sense of it.  I felt confused and a bit depressed.  But answers came as I pondered and prayed about it.  I realized that not all feelings are to be trusted, especially if acting on them would cause harm to yourself or others.  I learned through study and by faith that other churches have a lot of truth and many are trying to follow Jesus Christ to the very best of their abilities and the knowledge they have.  It's not surprising to me at all now that others might receive a testimony that their church is true.  I'm just grateful for the additional truth that our Church has to offer.

Around the same time as the video was posted, someone posted a link to a letter which was also full of disconcerting questions that cast doubt on the veracity of the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith along with all the other questions critics of the church have brought up time and time again since the church was organized.  Because one of my loved ones had left the church a few years before, I had already studied many of the questions and found answers that satisfied me.  I still had a testimony that the church was true, but the video and letter again challenged my testimony and caused me to reexamine my beliefs.  I remember talking with another loved one around that time and they shared that the magic was gone concerning the gospel.  Now that doubt had entered in, it let in an underlying sadness into their life.  I felt that was true for me as well for a time, but as I have continued to study and pray, my faith in God has only become stronger. I have learned more about what the gospel really teaches and have let go of some of the incorrect understandings that have creeped into mine and other members of the church's beliefs.  My husband and I started reading more than ever and listening to audio books that helped give answers to the questions.  Our testimonies have become more rooted in truth rather than tradition.

I think the reason I was able to hold onto my testimony through this difficult time is because I already had a relationship with God.  I knew Him.  I felt his presence in my life every day.  He gave me solace when I was sad.  He gave me guidance when I didn't know what to do.  He gave me assurance that all would be well when I was worried about something or someone.  The interesting thing to me is that when the doubt entered in, I felt darkness.  I didn't feel the Spirit.  I felt confusion.  Gratefully, as I studied the scriptures and the words of modern prophets and the words of other inspired people, my faith became strong again.   My faith in my Savior Jesus Christ has become more sure.  And as my faith in God has become more sure, the magic has returned.  I believe again in miracles.  During this Christmas Season, my heart is full of love for others and the joy of knowing God really is there.  He really does love me and will help me through the trials of life.

It is definitely a choice to believe or not to believe.  The reason I say that is that there are a plethora of writings on both sides of every question.  If you decide you don't believe in God or that Jesus Christ is our Savior, there are writings that will support you in that belief.  But turn around and decide that you do believe in God and Jesus Christ and the pendulum swings the other way.  There is so much evidence to support a belief in God and in the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  My life is better when my faith is strong.  My faith gives me the ability to feel the Spirit more strongly and more often and it gives me the answers to the questions of my soul.  I love my Heavenly Father so much and I love my Savior Jesus Christ.  I know I can trust them.  

Here are some of the books we have read during the past few years that have answered our questions, corrected our erroneous beliefs and helped us hold on to our faith and strengthen it: 

The Crucible of Doubt by Terryl and Fiona Givens

The Faith of a Scientist by Henry Eyring (father of Pres. Henry B. Eyring)

Let's Talk about Faith and Intellect by Terryl Givens

Panther to Priesthood by Eddie Leroy Willis

The God Who Weeps: How Mormonism Makes Sense of Life by Terryl Givens, Fiona Givens

Let's Talk about the Book of Abraham by Kerry Muhlestein

The Doors of Faith by Terryl Givens

Let's Talk about Religion and Mental Health by Daniel K. Judd

The Spirit of Revelation by David A. Bednar

Let's Talk about Polygamy by Brittany Chapman Nash

Where the Soul Hungers by Samuel M. Brown

A Walk in My Shoes: Questions I'm Often Asked by Ben Schilaty (a gay member)

Real vs. Rumor by Keith A. Erekson

Feelings by Matthew O. Richardson

All Things New by Terryl Givens, Fiona Givens

10 Reasons Why Joseph Smith Is a Prophet by Anthony Sweat

Divine Signatures: The Confirming Hand of God by Gerald N. Lund

The Second Coming of the Lord by Gerald N. Lund

What Seek Ye? by S. Michael Wilcox

Without the Mask by Charles Bird (a gay member)

The Christ Who Heals by Terryl Givens and Fiona Givens

Answers will Come by Shalissa Lindsay

The Power Within Us by Russell M. Nelson

Faith Is Not Blind by Bruce C. Hafen, Marie K. Hafen

Knowing Why: 127 MORE Evidences That the Book of Mormon is True by BoM Central

A Reason for Faith by Laura Harris Hales

The Heavens Are Open by Wendy Watson Nelson

Seekers Wanted by Anthony Sweat

Falling to Heaven: The Surprising Path to Happiness by James L. Ferrell

Insights from a Prophet's Life: Russell M. Nelson by Sheri Dew

To Draw Closer to God by Henry B. Eyring

Planted: Belief and Belonging in an Age of Doubt by Patrick Q. Mason

Getting at the Truth: Responding to Difficult Questions by Robert L. Millet

The Little Book of Book of Mormon Evidences by John Hilton III

Investigating the Book of Mormon Witnesses by Richard L. Anderson

Leap of Faith: Confronting the Origins of the BoM by Bob Bennett

An Ancient American Setting for the Book of Mormon by John L. Sorenson

Reexploring the Book of Mormon by John W. Welch

Case of the Book of Mormon Witnesses by Eldin Ricks

Shaken Faith Syndrome by Mike Ash

Reflections of a Scientist by Henry Eyring

That We May Be One by Tom Christofferson (a gay member)

Our Adventure

During this time when we are tuned to the things we are grateful for, I feel grateful for the experience my husband and I had a few weeks ago as we celebrated our 50th Wedding anniversary by going on our first cruise.  It didn't go as planned and yet my husband and I felt like we were on an adventure and each time we supposedly had a setback, we were able to look at it calmly and kind of with a feeling of excitement wondering what was going to happen next!  First, our flight to Paris where we were to get a connecting flight to Rome where our cruise was to begin, was late and we missed our connecting flight and missed the opportunity to go to the Rome Temple, one of the highlights we were so excited to do.  But though we felt disappointed, we didn't feel anxious or upset about it.  We were able to get another flight that got us to Rome the same day, but too late to even drive by the Temple.  

We went on and enjoyed our tours of Rome and then of Greece and Turkey and just before we got to the Holy Land, the greatest purpose for our cruise, I started to get sick.  I spent a day in our cabin, resting and then the night before we landed in Haifa, I took a Covid test, just to make sure I didn't have that.  It was negative, so we just donned our masks and set out with our tour group and enjoyed seeing the Holy Land.  I felt so grateful for the opportunity and in certain places such as in Capernaum where Jesus walked and in the Garden of Gethsemane I felt something sacred there.  While we were in Israel, my husband started to get sick too.  He was pretty miserable for much of our tours there, but since my test was negative, we assumed we just both had colds.  

We got back on the ship and went to the Island of Cyprus where we got off briefly and toured an old Castle museum.  When we got back to the ship, we had my husband take our last Covid test since his cold seemed worse than mine.  His was positive!  So then I went down to the ship's doctor and was tested as well.  This time my test was positive!  This meant we had to isolate for 5 days.  However our flight home was in 3 days and Rome wouldn't let us off the ship within 5 days of a positive Covid test.  Again we just looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and laughed!  Of course we felt sorry that we had exposed our tour group to Covid unknowingly, but we also felt relieved that we were able to enjoy all of the tours we had planned.

So for the next 5 days we had to stay in our cabin and actually got moved to another cabin in an area for those who were sick.  Our cabin looked the same, but we didn't have the daily visit of the steward who would make our bed and leave a chocolate on our pillow every night.  We adjusted and didn't really mind spending so much time in the cabin.  We got room service for all of our meals and got a complimentary laundry service and premium internet.  We enjoyed listening to a few audio books and looking out the window at the sea and watching the crew take the life boats down and ride them around to test them out.  We felt relaxed and not anxious at all until I started figuring out how we were to get home.   The cruise line invited us to stay on for the next two week cruise which would be stopping in Spain and the Bahamas and end up in Fort Lauderdale.  It would be complimentary.  We only thought about that briefly because many of those days would be Sea days and since we aren't swimming pool people, it didn't sound very appealing.  But getting off the ship in Spain sounded very exciting!  

So on Monday, our 5th day, we were allowed to get off the ship in Valencia, Spain where we took a train to Madrid.  The next day we got to go to the Madrid Temple!  I had wanted to go to Spain some day and this was a dream come true!  So we felt like God had given us a tender mercy.  In place of not being able to go to the Rome Temple, He let us go to the Spain Madrid Temple.  At one point as we were coming back in the evening to the hotel after our session, we got off the bus too soon and found ourselves lost, but I still felt calm and we soon encountered a friendly couple who guided us to a place where we could get a taxi.  They were so nice that we didn't feel anxious or abandoned.  Luckily we both speak Spanish so we were able to communicate with them just fine.  Again we felt watched over and protected.

The next day we got to the airport early for our flight home.  All went well until we got on the plane.  There was just a slight delay because one of the doors wouldn't shut completely.  Finally we got underway, but after about 30 minutes in flight, we were notified that the flight had to return to Madrid because there was no oxygen on board.  Apparently there had been a leak in the system.  Again, we just felt excited to see what was going to happen next!  When we got back to Madrid, we stayed on board for awhile while the technicians studied the issue and finally they told us that the flight was cancelled and they would be putting everyone up in a hotel and the flight would go the following day!  

It took awhile for us all to get on the buses with our luggage and get checked in to the Marriot Hotel but we did and we all got complimentary meals which were delicious!  We got lunch and dinner that day and breakfast the following morning and then headed to the airport again, and this time everything went well and we made our flight and our connecting flight in New York and got home safe and sound!

What could have been a traumatic and disappointing and frustrating trip turned in to an adventure for us.  We truly enjoyed the conversations we had with our fellow passengers through this whole experience and were happy to see that many of them had the same feelings we did about it.  Others however felt anxious and upset and angry.  I felt sorry for them and the stewardess who had to deal with them.

I am grateful for a husband who is able to take things in stride and not stress over them.  I am grateful for the understanding I have that one of the main purposes of life is to learn and gain experience.  I am grateful for the peace and calm we were able to feel that allowed us to relax and just enjoy the ride.  Our lives are not always so peaceful, so I feel especially grateful for this experience.

The Amazing Power of Faith and the Cellphone

"What power does your faith give you?" This was the question given in response to my daughter's statement "I don't want to lose the power my faith gives me."  She showed me the emails she and a loved one who had lost his faith had been writing to each other.  This has caused me much reflection in the years since then but I have found some answers that I want to share.

At first, I thought, well, my faith isn't strong enough to move mountains.  I don't see many miracles in my life so what power does my faith really give me?  It really caused me to reflect on what exactly is the power of faith?  These are some of the answers that have come as I have reflected and pondered on the subject.

My faith in God gives me the power to feel the Spirit of the Lord every day.  He's there and I know it, not just because I've been told He's there, but because I feel Him.  Being able to feel His presence in my life has become stronger and stronger as my faith has grown.  

My faith in God gives me the power to receive and recognize answers to my prayers.  With that power, I am never truly on my own, struggling for answers.

My faith in God gives me the power to act in confidence, even when it's something that is out of my comfort zone.  The power of the Spirit gives me the reassurance that I can do it and that He will help me accomplish whatever it is He wants me to do.

My faith in God gives me the power to feel peace, even when bad things happen.  With an Eternal perspective, I can ask the Lord what I am to learn from the situation.  I know that the Savior descended below all things and that He knows what is happening and has felt the pain and anguish and can give the comfort and reassurance needed if we will only have faith in Him. 

I have noticed that when my faith is weak, when I have read something or heard something that causes some doubt to enter in, I don't feel the power as strong.  I have a harder time feeling the Spirit.  I don't recognize answers to my prayers.  I'm more timid about doing things out of my comfort zone and it's harder to see the purpose of trials in life.

I was talking about this with my husband one day and he suggested that it was kind of like talking on a cellphone.  When I have the cellphone to my ear, I can hear the person I'm talking to (in this case, Heavenly Father) and He hears me and answers my questions and listens to my concerns and gives me advice.  There is two way communication. But when I become unsure that He is there, or when I forget He's there, it's like I am moving the cellphone away from my ear so it's harder to hear Him.  And if I put the cellphone down and walk away it's like I have rejected Him.  But He's still there, waiting for me to continue the conversation.  He hasn't left me, I have left Him.

I know Heavenly Father is still there, loving us and waiting for us to pick up the cellphone (in prayer) and talk with Him about our concerns and listen to the counsel he has to give us.  To me this is the amazing power of faith in God.  It gives me the power with His help, to move the metaphorical mountains in my life and expect miracles to happen.

A Story of Strength

 A short time ago my granddaughter texted me with a request.  Her seminary teacher had assigned her to ask a parent or grandparent to share a story of strength with her.  As I pondered on this topic, the only story of strength I could think of in my own life, was the knowledge that my strength comes from my faith in God.  My faith is what gives me the strength to carry on from day to day, emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally.

My faith in the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the knowledge of where I came from, why I am here on this earth with all of its trials and blessings, and where I will go after this life, gives me the strength and courage to carry on.  It helps me feel like it's all worth the effort.  When I am sick or in pain, my faith helps me remember that one of the purposes of this life is to gain experience and it helps me deal with the pain, and surprisingly sometimes the discomfort goes away more quickly than I would have expected when I thank God for the experience.  When I am sad because of a death of someone I care about, my faith helps me see things in perspective and know that the day will come when I will see them again and gives me strength to carry on.  When I am hurt by the words or actions of another person, my faith helps me deal with the emotions and helps me see things in perspective. I know that it's between them and God and I don't need to internalize the hurt, and that knowledge gives me the strength to feel compassion for them instead of anger or hatred.  

Knowledge is power!  Faith is power!  Knowing that I have a loving Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ helps me through every crisis.  Knowing I can access them personally in private prayer and feel the answers to my prayers gives me hope and strengthens my faith.  Every time I receive an answer to my prayers, it strengthens my faith.  And as my faith becomes stronger, the answers to my prayers come more clearly and quickly.  Because I expect and know that my prayer will be answered, my faith is strengthened and the cycle continues...  

As I study the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon and internalize its teachings, my faith is strengthened and I feel their truthfulness and have experienced their truth.  For example, in 1 Nephi 10:19 -

For he that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy Ghost, as well in these times as in times of old, and as well in times of old as in times to come; wherefore, the course of the Lord is one eternal round.

I have had the experience of having the mysteries of God unfolded to me by the power of the Holy Ghost.   It came after diligently seeking the Lord through prayerful study of the scriptures and through sincere prayer.  I have experienced the "enlightened understanding" and "deliciousness" of the word as spoken of in Alma 32:28.

Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

Without my faith in God, I would be weak.  I would be left to my own power and my own judgment which does not always serve me.  However "I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me."  (Philippians 4:13) 

In the book of Mosiah, Alma and his people were being persecuted by Amulon and were forbidden to pray vocally and were treated like beasts of burden.  But instead of stopping their prayers, they continued to pray silently.

"And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord." (Mosiah 24:15)

I have faith that these words are true because I have experienced the strengthening power of the Lord.  The Book of Mormon strengthens my faith and comforts me through its teachings.

And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness. (1Nephi 17:3)

I am grateful for my faith and the strength and power it gives me to accomplish all the things I want to do and feel the Lord would have me do.  

The Natural Man

In the Book of Mormon, in Mosiah 3:19 it says "For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever..."  I have heard people stop there and think that God considers them His enemy.  And also in Helaman 12:7 how it says "O how great is the ^anothingness of the children of men; yea, even they are ^bless than the dust of the earth."  If we stop there, it sounds like we really are worthless souls!  Does God really consider us worthless and His enemy?  

This morning I was reading a Conference talk and went to the footnotes and saw this scripture in 1 Corinthians 2:14 where it says "But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

This scripture helps me understand a little better what Mosiah 3:19 may mean.  If we take the things of the spirit of God to be foolishness, then we are alienating ourselves from God.  And by alienating ourselves from God we are unable to understand the things of the Spirit because they are only to be understood through the Spirit.  If we alienate ourselves from God, we may become His enemy by fighting against Him.

The rest of Mosiah 3:19 says: "unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

This may be hard for some to take, because becoming as a child, submissive, meek and humble, etc. is against their nature.  The idea of giving up our own will in submission to our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ can be a hard one, when we value our own will.  It may be hard and even scary to give up our own will to accept what God wants us to do.  The difference between us and a child is that a child usually trusts their father.  

What happens as we get older?  Teenagers usually go through a phase where they may not be quite as obedient to their parents.  They want to try their wings and do their own thing.  It's usually not until they are parents and have their own children that they realize that maybe their parents knew more than they thought.  Then sometimes they appreciate what their parents taught them and understand better the intentions of their parents.

Let's consider Helaman 12:8.  After verse 7 where it says the children of men are less than the dust of the earth, Helaman 8 goes on to say why.  It talks about the power of God and how he can command the dust of the earth.  He can cause the hills and mountains to quake and be broken up and become smooth.  He can cause the earth to stand still, the waters of the deep to be dried up, mountains to move, etc. etc.  I think the reason we are less than the dust of the earth is because we don't always obey Him as the dust and the earth and the mountains do.  

In Helaman 12:23 it says "Therefore, blessed are they who will repent and hearken unto the voice of the Lord their God; for these are they that shall be saved."

Verse 25: And I would that all men might be saved...

So from these scriptures I understand that God wants us to submit our will to His, and in return He will save us.  But my experience with being submissive to God, hasn't been a trial or something bad.  Submitting to God makes me free.  It helps me to know what to do.  When I obey Him and do what the Spirit prompts me to do, things go better than when I just do what I want to do.  The idea is to get to the point where we want the same things as God does;  because those things always bring a deeper joy than when we go against His will and do our own thing.  My experience has been that I can trust Him.  Things always go better in my life and I am happier when I follow the promptings I receive from Him. 

Firewalking and Faith

Several weeks ago my husband and I met a man who claimed to be a fire walker.  It was fascinating hearing his story.  He had been an alcoholic and a drug addict and fire walking saved his life.  He didn’t consider himself a member of any church, but he definitely believed in God.  He felt that it was spirituality and love that allowed him to walk on the hot coals.  He didn’t believe that faith in God had anything to do with it, but he shared that others thought it was their faith that allowed them to do it.  It was a very interesting discussion.  He mentioned how someone who got burnt would be able to cross back over the coals when they would forgive themselves for it and on the other side, the burns would be gone.  

This caused me to remember an experience I had one day when I was in a lot of pain.  To help me through it, I reminded myself of the purpose of life - to gain experience and so at that point, I thanked God for the painful experience I was going through.  I noticed shortly thereafter that the pain was gone.  

When I got home from the firewalker's home, I looked up fire walking on the internet and found several websites that talked about the science behind it.  Apparently, it’s not so miraculous, although there are some guidelines that need to be adhered to in order to not get burnt.  You can do a Google search if you want to know more about it.  

The interesting thing to me is that doing something like fire walking can make a huge difference in the life of someone who has lost control of himself.  He was addicted to drugs and wanted desperately to be free from them but felt helpless to do so until he was introduced to fire walking.  It gave him the confidence he needed to change his life for the better.  Now he is teaching this skill and helping others.

What would happen to this man if he found out that what he is doing isn’t as miraculous as he thought it was?  Would he go back to his drugs?  Or would the change be a permanent change?  I would hope it would be a permanent change as he found out what life could be without the chains of drug addiction.

What about those of us who love God and whose lives are made beautiful and even miraculous because of our faith in Him and in His Son?  What would happen to us if we found out that God is not real and that the Bible truly is myth?  What happens to the miracles that we have seen in our lives because of our faith?  Would we ever be able to see miracles again?   What would happen to our faith?  

The longer I live, the more I discover there is to learn.  Many things that seemed miraculous to people years ago, like a match causing fire, a camera being able to make a picture of a person, planes being able to fly.  These were miracles to those who didn't know the science behind it.  I think it will be very interesting when we learn the science of how Jesus was able to walk on water.  I am learning that our minds are very powerful.  In general, if we believe we can't do something, we usually can't.  If we believe we can do something, we often can.  Our beliefs are very powerful.  In the scriptures it says that by faith the worlds were made.  So if it takes faith to create a world, then it seems that faith is one of the most powerful things that we should develop while in this earthly existence.

At those times when my faith is strongest, I feel wonderful!  I feel so happy and confident.  I feel like I can do anything the Lord wants me to do.  My inhibitions and fears go away and everything seems possible.  I feel joyful and peaceful at those times.  But occasionally, when I first wake up in the morning, I feel sad.  I still have my faith in God to help me get over the sadness quite quickly, but when I think about the reasons for my sadness, I have to cry a bit first.  I have loved ones who have rejected me along with my faith.  I don't know what to do about it.  They want me to stop doing the things that bring me the greatest happiness, like talking about the gospel, bearing my testimony, posting faith based things on Facebook.  What would happen to me if I stopped doing those things?  Those things that make me the happiest?  I stopped for a little while, but didn't feel good about it.  

But if I want a relationship with them, it seems that's what I need to do.  Would that really make them happier when they sense that I'm not happy giving up the things that bring me the most happiness?  Sharing my faith is how I show love, because I want others to feel the joy that I feel.  But they don't feel the joy I feel.  They don't believe what I believe, and I guess I just keep reminding them of what they have given up.  Is there a way for us to just love each other unconditionally?  I love them unconditionally, but they don't feel it.  I would love to have a relationship with them once more, but is it possible?  Is our relationship destined to just be awkward as we avoid any mention of the things that mean the most to us?  I hope the day will come when we can talk about the things that mean the most to us without feeling threatened,  to be able to share our ideas and feelings and try to understand each other without requiring the other one to change who they are and what they believe.  I hope it's possible with all my heart.  Is it possible?

More Things I Know

During one of the talks in Sacrament Meeting a few months ago, before the Pandemic, I especially loved the following quote the speaker shared by Harry Emerson Fosdick who wrote the following, “Some Christians carry their religion on their backs. It is a packet of beliefs and practices which they must bear. At times it grows heavy and they would willingly lay it down, but that would mean a break with old traditions, so they shoulder it again. But real Christians do not carry their religion, their religion carries them. It is not weight; it is wings. It lifts them up, it sees them over hard places, it makes the universe seem friendly, life purposeful, hope real, sacrifice worthwhile. It sets them free from fear, futility, discouragement, and sin—the great enslavers of men’s souls. You can know a real Christian, when you see him, by his buoyancy.” This rang true for me. The only thing I would add is that a real Christian is Christlike. They radiate love and kindness to others.

A year and a half ago I wrote a blog post called Things I Know. here In this blogpost I would like to expand and add to the things I said then.

I know that truth is truth, even if few people believe it.

I know that mankind is fallible. I know that there are no perfect people who have ever lived on the earth except for Jesus Christ (in whom I strongly believe). Most people, including the prophets, learn from making mistakes. It's a part of this life. I know that sometimes we put our trust in those whom we shouldn't and sometimes we believe things that aren't true. I think when we become aware of those mistakes, it's good to admit it rather than hide or excuse them.

I know that our subjective experiences are not always the same as another's. We shouldn't assume, as I have in the past, that others will have the same experience we do if they do the same things we do. We need to be more understanding and sympathetic of the needs and feelings of others and not negate their subjective experiences. Those experiences are valid to them.

I know that millions of people all over the world (inside and outside of the Church) have felt what they believe is the spirit of God in their lives giving them comfort and guidance. And I believe that telling any of them that the spiritual feelings they have had are somehow not valid, isn't being helpful, but is being demeaning and disrespectful, unless what they believe is spiritual guidance is clearly destructive and harmful.

I know that learning all we can about what we have been taught to believe is a wise thing to do to determine for ourselves if it is really true.  But we need to be aware that our study can destroy or strengthen that belief, according to the integrity and diligence of those whose writings we study. I believe we should study a wide variety of sources, not all being supportive to what we want to be true, but realizing that sometimes critics have a tendency to look for the negative and assume the worst in every situation, rather than looking at all of the evidence.

I know that most people are doing the best they know how with the knowledge and understanding that they currently have. Most people listen to their conscience. Those who don't are the ones who make life miserable for others and themselves.

I know that there is much good inside and outside of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And the Church teaches its members to embrace all truth wherever it is found.

I know that the prophets and the Book of Mormon have taught us that we don't need to obey them or the scriptures blindly, but that we can and should gain our own testimony of the truthfulness of what they say or of anything else. We should never obey anyone "blindly."

I know from a report I read recently about the mental health of BYU students related to their belief in grace vs. legalism, that many church members, including some of my loved ones, don't understand the blessing of the grace of God. grace-legalism If they did, and believed it, they would know that we have no need to hate ourselves or belittle ourselves or feel like we are unworthy when we make a mistake or when we don't believe the same as someone else. We are enough if we live with integrity according to what we believe to be true and continue to improve ourselves the best we can. 

I know that the Book of Mormon testifies of the reality of Jesus Christ. Along with the Bible, it teaches us about His atonement for our sins and adds that he also experienced our sicknesses, pains, temptations and anguish so that He would be able to succor us in our trials when no one else can.

I know that the Church teaches its members to be like Jesus Christ, to follow His example, to love one another and serve one another.   

I know that the prophets and apostles in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teach principles of the gospel that if believed and followed would bless and have blessed millions of lives with joy and peace.

I know that if we can understand and believe the plan of happiness as taught by the Church and the Book of Mormon, and that this life is just a moment in eternity, a learning ground, then it can make our experience here on the earth become deeply meaningful and even joyful.

I know that living my life as a Christian, specifically as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints "lifts me up, sees me over hard places and makes the universe seem friendly, life purposeful, hope real, and sacrifice worthwhile. It sets me free from fear, futility, discouragement, and sin." It brings me joy, hope and peace.