My husband and I were reading in 1st Nephi recently after Lehi told his family about his dream of the Tree of Life. Nephi then went to the Lord to ask about what the dream meant. When he came back from receiving his answers, he found his brothers, Laman and Lemuel arguing about what the dream meant. When Nephi asked them if they had asked God to know for themselves the meaning of the dream, they said that they hadn't because they didn't believe God would answer them. I wonder how often people give up and decide that God doesn’t talk to them (or he doesn’t exist) because they haven't learned yet how to recognize the voice of God, or like "doubting" Thomas they can't believe until they can see God for themselves to know he's really there. Jesus told Thomas that those who didn't see him but believed the witness of others were more blessed than those who saw him and believed. In this blog post and the next one I want to share a little of my experience in learning how to recognize the voice of the spirit. Perhaps it can be a help to someone.
Growing up I never got into the habit of having a kneeling personal prayer more than once a day, and that was always just before climbing into bed. As a result my prayers were quite routine and quick because I was tired and ready to go to bed. I believed that prayer was an important thing to do because I believed what I was taught at home, at church and in the scriptures, but I didn't really know the best way to do it. I continued this way of praying throughout my childhood, youth and into my marriage, of course adding in some prayers for when times were tough, but I didn’t know how to recognize answers to my prayers.
When we had three small children, I was called to be the Relief Society President in our ward. Through inspiration I had to choose counselors, and I was amazed that I was able to feel an assurance of which sisters should be my counselors as I went through the ward list. I was also responsible for making visiting teaching assignments. I knew that these assignments were meant to be inspired, so I spent late hours after the children were asleep, praying over those assignments and rearranging and rearranging them until I felt peace that it was okay. This experience gave me some insight as to what prayer is supposed to be like. It was more than just a ritual to accomplish, but rather a conversation with God. It meant waiting for God to answer rather than just closing the prayer and jumping into bed.
I wanted to have more of this type of relationship with Father in Heaven, so through the following years I started reading books and articles on personal revelation by general authorities and listening to conference talks on the subject. I even traveled to Utah to attend BYU Education Week and had the opportunity to listen to others who had some inspired words on how to pray and recognize answers to prayer. As I gradually started adding these things to my way of praying I found that indeed my relationship with God became closer and I was able to recognize more consistently answers to my prayers.
I knew by then that I should be praying both morning and night but as a young mother with lots of children, it was hard to have a morning prayer because my children would wake me up in the morning needing my attention. But I remember praying often during the day when problems came up, or running to my bedroom for a prayer when I was upset. At that time I was still learning how to listen for answers, but just the act of praying caused me to calm down and feel more peaceful so I could handle the situation better and little by little I started getting insights on what to do when I was having problems with a child or a situation. I also made a goal to pray two times during the day instead of just my evening prayer. It usually ended up being during "quiet time" the hour or so a day when my children were in their rooms napping or reading or playing quietly. It was actually my time to relax and be ready for the second half of the day.
Gradually through the years my prayers have become more meaningful and I have learned how to more easily recognize the spirit. I have learned to trust God and know that He loves me and wants the best for me. This knowledge has been a great blessing in my life in helping me have a happier marriage and be a better mother. It has also helped me fulfill all of the many church callings I have had. It has helped in every aspect of my life even though I haven’t been perfect at it. In my next blog post I will share some of the things I've learned that have helped my prayers become more of a conversation with God rather than just a monologue on my part and some things that have helped me to recognize answers to prayer. I will also share an experience I had with false revelation and what I learned from it.
